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Do you think anyone has the right to tell a person they have greived enough for a animal when the person does not fell like they have?
 
Warning, I wrote a book and it's rather explicit although still rated pg.

Ology said:
Do you think anyone has the right to tell a person they have greived enough for a animal when the person does not fell like they have?
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Nobody and no one has a right to tell you arbitrarily to "get over it" or be done grieving. We all move forward at our own paces and some losses are harder to bear. Each situation unique. If you feel that you should be moving forward and aren't then I'd suggest grief counseling, or even just finding someone who you can talk to about all that you feel and why.

My grandmother passed away when I was 11. She wanted her memorial to be a celebration of her life since doctor's had told her she wouldn't live past 16 and she made it to 72. She lived every day so full of optimism and life and she had more meds, diet restrictions, allergies, and other conditions than anyone else I've ever even heard of. They played "Amazing Grace" as the last song and, though at times I feel she's watching over me from a much happier and relaxed place, I still can't hear or even think that song without crying. They're rolling down my face right now.

I have many different losses and each has effected me in a different way. I'll only give one more example. I was 20 when they finally found my first bladder cancer tumor. It was the size of a golf ball. "Only men over 55 get these" After they looked at it and said we'd remove it they were explaining the chances of it being cancerous and of it having spread to the bladder wall. The doctor explained what would happen in each instance and let me know that life expectancy once the cancer has gotten into the bladder wall or kidneys is usually 6 months at most. I didn't cry or get upset. If it's my time, then I'll go. The doctor and nurses were so consternated. They thought I was going into shock. They all had such a hard time believing that I could just accept the knowledge and move on. It was rather comical. I was alone, of course, living alone, too. I'm still unbothered by the fact that I could get this diagnosis at any time. The only thing that has changed, is that I promised my daughter I'd do everything in my power to live as long as possible for her. If I listen to the voices in my head. I'll live to be 63. They've yet to be wrong, so, while I worry some, it's mostly in regards to how I will care for her if I, say, have a thyroidectomy. How will I get her meals, laundry, cleaning, quality time, and all the other little things that a parent does. I grieve not for myself, but for those I love.
 
Tak said:
Warning, I wrote a book and it's rather explicit although still rated pg.



Nobody and no one has a right to tell you arbitrarily to "get over it" or be done grieving. We all move forward at our own paces and some losses are harder to bear. Each situation unique. If you feel that you should be moving forward and aren't then I'd suggest grief counseling, or even just finding someone who you can talk to about all that you feel and why.

My grandmother passed away when I was 11. She wanted her memorial to be a celebration of her life since doctor's had told her she wouldn't live past 16 and she made it to 72. She lived every day so full of optimism and life and she had more meds, diet restrictions, allergies, and other conditions than anyone else I've ever even heard of. They played "Amazing Grace" as the last song and, though at times I feel she's watching over me from a much happier and relaxed place, I still can't hear or even think that song without crying. They're rolling down my face right now.

I have many different losses and each has effected me in a different way. I'll only give one more example. I was 20 when they finally found my first bladder cancer tumor. It was the size of a golf ball. "Only men over 55 get these" After they looked at it and said we'd remove it they were explaining the chances of it being cancerous and of it having spread to the bladder wall. The doctor explained what would happen in each instance and let me know that life expectancy once the cancer has gotten into the bladder wall or kidneys is usually 6 months at most. I didn't cry or get upset. If it's my time, then I'll go. The doctor and nurses were so consternated. They thought I was going into shock. They all had such a hard time believing that I could just accept the knowledge and move on. It was rather comical. I was alone, of course, living alone, too. I'm still unbothered by the fact that I could get this diagnosis at any time. The only thing that has changed, is that I promised my daughter I'd do everything in my power to live as long as possible for her. If I listen to the voices in my head. I'll live to be 63. They've yet to be wrong, so, while I worry some, it's mostly in regards to how I will care for her if I, say, have a thyroidectomy. How will I get her meals, laundry, cleaning, quality time, and all the other little things that a parent does. I grieve not for myself, but for those I love.
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I grieve very strongly for people and Animal. Next week March 15th will be 12 year sense my horse buddy passed away he was my dear dear baby boy and I would not have given the anything for the 5 years I had with him for anything. I just don't get over things, I remember death more than birth and tend to morn when the time comes. My mom was tell me not to morn this year and to focus on my nieces bday which is saint patricks day. I do think that helps but I cant not morn for my horse it does not feel right. My grandfather passing is next along with my grandmother and my dog, I know it bring a lot of sadness to the table but it make me remember the good times too so it does help in many ways.
 
It's ok to be you @Ology and handle what you feel in your own way. I still have the birthdays of all my dearly departed on my calendar. I think about them on their birthdays each year. I still cry over a cat that I had to have euthanized. He was only 2 and wouldn't have been able to use his back legs or have any, um, bowel and bladder control. As such an active cat in so much pain, I knew he wouldn't thank me for making him live that way. He was an amazing hunter. He's been gone since 2002. I cry looking at pictures of him.
 
I am still catching myself sniffling and shedding a tear for my Sophie, Lou and Aki. Sophie has been gone 13 years now. My childhood friends that have passed away-well it still upsets me sometimes. With one in particular I am still having a lot of loss related dreams. Loss is something that has no designated time you should be passed it. There is no such thing. Some days we are happy and not thinking about it and other days we may be a little sad remembering. I like doing something for those people and pets in memory in the spring in my gardens. This year I may have to have someone come in and do it for me as the snow destroyed everything.
 
In may I might be strong enough this year to put flower on my best male guys friend who was murder in High school he was the kindest person to me. He call me bubbles for some reason and said he would take me to prom just as friends he knew I was asexual but it would have been nice to go with a friend. I miss him so much. You don't meet many soles like that in your life time. To meet one who is so unselfish is rare I hope to see him in the next place or if they fate are kind they might let him be reincarnated again to live the life that was cut way to short.
 
Ology said:
Do you think anyone has the right to tell a person they have greived enough for a animal when the person does not fell like they have?
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No, but I believe in the right to smack such a rude person and tell them to learn to be more sensitive or keep their yaps shut. They'll get over being smacked right?
 
Leave a Whisper said:
No, but I believe in the right to smack such a rude person and tell them to learn to be more sensitive or keep their yaps shut. They'll get over being smacked right?
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Instead of smacking my mother taught me to use obscure words that most people don't know and therefore don't know they just got insulted.... is that evil? It's been working really well for my daughter. :rolleyes:
 
Sometimes I think people tell us not to cry because they are uncomfortable with our expressions of sadness. They are also uncomfortable with their own ability to express any kind of emotion or face loss.
 
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My only reason for not crying where others can see me is simply because I don't want to answer all the sympathetic questions. My eyes turn an almost electric shade of green when I cry, too, which always attracts attention. I like to go under the radar. Ghost like.
 
Why does our across the street and down the hill neighbors pet Canadian goose Ollie come to our house almost every other day? He is a sweet heart and loves to go for walks when my dad takes the dogs out. I might sneak him a treat every so often. But I worry about the road he walks across it. He was hurt at a young as and the Neighbor daughter adopted him and took care of him. He can glide but not really fly so he walks all over our area. For some reason our house is his favorite place to go. Our dog love him to death and even Roho Jr the rooster seems to like him.

OMG he is soft when he will let you pet him. I just wish he would not poop everywhere on the porch and pathways we have. Its not fun to clean.
I can post pic to prove this Goose loves our house.

I had a baby goose when I was little goosey goose was his name but he die of pneumonia a few days after he was born. I had him in a blanket and was rocking him when he past. I think I was 8 or 9. Gods I cried so hard.
 
Oh my gosh I would love having a Goose come and visit me poo and all. You are so lucky. I have always wanted a goose.
 
I hate to admit it because chickens are awesome, but I'm so not a bird person. Cleaning cages at petco when I worked there always made me sick. Even though the birds were friendly and would just chill on your shoulder. I also got attacked by a turkey when I was 5? I'm not positive on age, but that bird was as big as me!
 
Tak said:
I hate to admit it because chickens are awesome, but I'm so not a bird person. Cleaning cages at petco when I worked there always made me sick. Even though the birds were friendly and would just chill on your shoulder. I also got attacked by a turkey when I was 5? I'm not positive on age, but that bird was as big as me!
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I can sort kinda can do a turkey call and bring turkeys come out of the woods.
I can mimic many animals not just turkeys, Childhood not a lot of friends learn to sound like other things my parents are so proud not.
 
@Tak I love chickens now, but when I was a kid I was scared of them because, they would chase us around the property my grandmother owned. I just eventually felt I was bigger than the chicken lol. Birds can harm you for sure. Once a Great Horned owl of massive size flew so close to my head I could feel the wind from its flight. I was out there looking for owls, but people who have gone out looking at owls have been horribly attacked by them. Never underestimate a bird's ability to defend itself. Even those mockingbirds are fearless. They attack the hawks and I have watched them attack cats too. LOL They even attacked my MIL so badly she had blood all over head. In her case I can totally understand the position of the bird. So, I have no doubt turkeys hold a grudge. I mean we eat them every year. They are sick of it. So, if they can fight back they will. If I was a turkey I would do the same. It's turkeys against the world. They are tired of being the main dish. Tee hee Oh and there is nothing worse than the smell of bird pooh. Especially when it has just rained. Its enough to make me nauseous.
 
Have you ever had to trim a rooster's spurs @tulagirl ? I got gouged once. Those boys can be lethal left to grow.
 
You have such a wide range of information stored in your head @tulagirl you always make me smile. :)
 
Tak said:
You have such a wide range of information stored in your head @tulagirl you always make me smile. :)
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That is probably because of being disabled and not getting to keep my mind busy with work. Oh and being an Early Childhood Teacher you have to know all these little facts about things to teach the kids.
 
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tulagirl said:
@Tak I love chickens now, but when I was a kid I was scared of them because, they would chase us around the property my grandmother owned. I just eventually felt I was bigger than the chicken lol. Birds can harm you for sure. Once a Great Horned owl of massive size flew so close to my head I could feel the wind from its flight. I was out there looking for owls, but people who have gone out looking at owls have been horribly attacked by them. Never underestimate a bird's ability to defend itself. Even those mockingbirds are fearless. They attack the hawks and I have watched them attack cats too. LOL They even attacked my MIL so badly she had blood all over head. In her case I can totally understand the position of the bird. So, I have no doubt turkeys hold a grudge. I mean we eat them every year. They are sick of it. So, if they can fight back they will. If I was a turkey I would do the same. It's turkeys against the world. They are tired of being the main dish. Tee hee Oh and there is nothing worse than the smell of bird pooh. Especially when it has just rained. Its enough to make me nauseous.
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It's funny that owls can be so intimidating as birds of prey, with their impressive talons, but both times I have rescued injured owls they were gentle and timid. All during the care process they were both sweethearts. I believe they knew I was helping them and they didn't need to defend themselves. Funny, as wild animals they were much more docile than domesticated birds that have torn me up when it came to doctoring them!
 
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