- Joined
- Jul 5, 2005
- Messages
- 1,606
So I don't really have anyone else to talk to about stuff right now so I'm just going to post it here. I don't really need feedback or anything if people don't feel like it, I just need to say it to get it out of me. It just helps.
So it's been a weird year for me. I finally got the courage to break up with my boyfriend of four years. We never slept in the same room, for the last two years we barely even spoke. He was more interested in his video games then in doing something with me. The only time we spent together was if we were going to a friends house. So not just us. I lived with my mum for the last year we were together. I don't drive, he does, he also has weekends off from work. He came once in the entire year to visit me for a couple days, unless my sister and brother-in-law were also coming for the weekend (three times that year.)
I was miserable and finally did it. He understood, he was sad, cried, said he loved me, but he understood, the "distance was too great for our relationship" I tried to explain that it wasn't just the distance. He said he finally understood and that he was sorry. That was that. I left the apartment and went to my friends apartment down the road to spend my birthday weekend with friends. It was great.
I started to have feelings for one of my guy friends, he had them back. We hung out all the time, he was helping me get my confidence back. Treated me like a person. He convinced me it was okay to get my nails done, to get my hair done. Things I never would've done on my own. He was my best friend. We got more then friendly, but talked about it and knew that right now, us dating isn't a good idea. He's in the middle of a divorce, I just got out of a relationship. So we stayed best friends with cuddles. I love cuddles. Yes, that's all it was, cuddles on the couch while watching tv, he's a gentleman.
Then people at a game we play together decided to start talking. Word got around that we're a "couple" and doing so behind my ex's back. We both talked to people and explained that we were not a couple, but my ex freaked out and got so angry. So now we don't hang out because we're trying not to cause trouble in our circle of friends.
At the same time that we decided that we couldn't hang out so much, one of my best friends online took his own life. We'd never met in person but had been gaming together for years and talked daily over skype.
I feel like I've lost my two best friends in one fell swoop and I just don't know what to do. I'm miserable. I was finally happy with my life and BAM no more happiness for Nightmare. I just keep waiting for the third thing to hit me. Bad stuff always seems to happen in threes. I just don't think I can take a third loss right now. I randomly break down crying, I'm getting sick again. I don't really know how to cope, I keep trying to talk to my one friend, but he is trying to keep himself busy and barely has time to talk anymore.
Well, that's my ranty, whiney, sucks to be me post.
So it's been a weird year for me. I finally got the courage to break up with my boyfriend of four years. We never slept in the same room, for the last two years we barely even spoke. He was more interested in his video games then in doing something with me. The only time we spent together was if we were going to a friends house. So not just us. I lived with my mum for the last year we were together. I don't drive, he does, he also has weekends off from work. He came once in the entire year to visit me for a couple days, unless my sister and brother-in-law were also coming for the weekend (three times that year.)
I was miserable and finally did it. He understood, he was sad, cried, said he loved me, but he understood, the "distance was too great for our relationship" I tried to explain that it wasn't just the distance. He said he finally understood and that he was sorry. That was that. I left the apartment and went to my friends apartment down the road to spend my birthday weekend with friends. It was great.
I started to have feelings for one of my guy friends, he had them back. We hung out all the time, he was helping me get my confidence back. Treated me like a person. He convinced me it was okay to get my nails done, to get my hair done. Things I never would've done on my own. He was my best friend. We got more then friendly, but talked about it and knew that right now, us dating isn't a good idea. He's in the middle of a divorce, I just got out of a relationship. So we stayed best friends with cuddles. I love cuddles. Yes, that's all it was, cuddles on the couch while watching tv, he's a gentleman.
Then people at a game we play together decided to start talking. Word got around that we're a "couple" and doing so behind my ex's back. We both talked to people and explained that we were not a couple, but my ex freaked out and got so angry. So now we don't hang out because we're trying not to cause trouble in our circle of friends.
At the same time that we decided that we couldn't hang out so much, one of my best friends online took his own life. We'd never met in person but had been gaming together for years and talked daily over skype.
I feel like I've lost my two best friends in one fell swoop and I just don't know what to do. I'm miserable. I was finally happy with my life and BAM no more happiness for Nightmare. I just keep waiting for the third thing to hit me. Bad stuff always seems to happen in threes. I just don't think I can take a third loss right now. I randomly break down crying, I'm getting sick again. I don't really know how to cope, I keep trying to talk to my one friend, but he is trying to keep himself busy and barely has time to talk anymore.
Well, that's my ranty, whiney, sucks to be me post.