Heartbroken

Skybreeze

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Hey guys!

So, I have some sad news that I am deeply struggling with.

Tonight I will be saying goodbye to my beautiful bestfried of 15 years. My handsome and wonderful pug Zephyr has been declining over the last few months. My vet and I have been keeping him comfortable for the last few months fully knowing things could change any day.

Zephyr has been with me since the day (literally) I moved out of my parents home. He has been with me over the years through some extremely difficult things (various surgeries, MS diagnosis, death of grandparents and two old dogs, etc). He is a cancer warrior himself with going through four rounds of chemo therapy and physical therapy. He has been my clinic’s “Front desk dog” over the years bringing comfort and love to all our clients who have walked in and lost their own family members. He is deeply loved by my family and a lot of my friends who have all grown attached to him as I have.

He is the embodiment of the perfect dog. He was a breeze to train and has never left my side.

Now, I haven’t slept in two days. He is now struggling to walk (due to cancer growth in his spine), he’s wont eat or drink and last night he vomited at some point and he just slept in it. :,( I know it’s time for him but my heart is so incredibly broken. He’s my best friend and it’s hard to imagine life with out my little bud.

I will be taking in to work tonight to say my finial goodbye. My life will forever be changed in a matter of a few hours and I’m terrified.

Not sure why I’m sharing this here. I just need to express myself I guess and I feel safe doing it here amongst my pony people. Sorry for the sad post. I’m crying so much I can barely see what I’m doing, my anxiety is through the roof today. I already don’t know what to do with myself, so I came here to get it off my chest I guess.

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Leave a Whisper

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Oh no Sky. :'( Big hugs to you and gentle ones for your beloved Zephyr. He sounds like a wonderful friend. I'm so sorry.
 

Skybreeze

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Thanks for understanding guys.

I’ve had to do this twice before with my 16 & 17 year old Shih Tzu’s but coming to the decision for Zephyr has been a lot harder. Honestly one of the hardest life decisions I will have to make, but I would never give up a day I had with him.
 
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Gingerbread

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Ugh, this is the hardest part of being a pet parent and my heart goes out to you. Just cause you know it's right doesn't make it any easier and there is nothing anyone can say to make it better. You just gotta focus on the fact that he had a wonderful life with you. It's gonna be hard but if you can try to remember the good life he had it does make it a little easier. *HUGS*
 

Skybreeze

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Thank you everyone for your sweet and kind thoughts and words. It helps a little. Our home feels strange without Zephyr here and hearing the scuffle and snorting of a pug coming to watch you eat.

Luckily in the short six months they’ve had together, he has taught Clover some very important dog rules. Such as the fine art of watching everyone eat inhopes of something falling.

Life has already changed incredibly without him in less than 24 hours after.

Thank you again pony friends for your words of support. It truly means a lot. :sadpony::ponylove:
 
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Winged Mirage

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My own dog Bruno had to be put down about a year ago. It still seems strange sometimes that he's not here. I get that feeling with my first cat Tiger too. I've had several pets over the years, and therefore several deaths, but I've never regretted having any of them. There's a lot of things you learn from having pets, such as unconditional love and how human life isn't the only important kind of life.

I'm not sure if I'm secretly psychic or my pets are just that ingrained into my consciousness, but sometimes I have dreams where they visit. They very ordinary, yet vivid dreams. The pet waits outside the door, and I think "Wait, they're dead...oh well, I guess they're back now." (lol) and I play with them. They always bring me comfort when I wake up, like I slept really well.
 

Tak

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My own dog Bruno had to be put down about a year ago. It still seems strange sometimes that he's not here. I get that feeling with my first cat Tiger too. I've had several pets over the years, and therefore several deaths, but I've never regretted having any of them. There's a lot of things you learn from having pets, such as unconditional love and how human life isn't the only important kind of life.

I'm not sure if I'm secretly psychic or my pets are just that ingrained into my consciousness, but sometimes I have dreams where they visit. They very ordinary, yet vivid dreams. The pet waits outside the door, and I think "Wait, they're dead...oh well, I guess they're back now." (lol) and I play with them. They always bring me comfort when I wake up, like I slept really well.
I've had several dream visits. Especially when times were hard. I know they were checking on me.
 

Skybreeze

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I’ve had feelings of my previous dogs (not sure which one) was laying in bed with me on multiple occasions. Like I’m in bed and I feel weight and pressure as if they’re there and I go to pet them and I remember, “no, your crazy nothings there.”

I’ve also had dreams of them as well. I don’t know what I believe but I do hope there is a heaven and my three babies are up there playing with each other again and my Opa and Oma are in bliss with all the family pets.

Maybe it’s my mind, maybe it’s all just hopeful wishing. But I like to believe they come visit us in our dreams and wherever we are.
 

Tak

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I’ve had feelings of my previous dogs (not sure which one) was laying in bed with me on multiple occasions. Like I’m in bed and I feel weight and pressure as if they’re there and I go to pet them and I remember, “no, your crazy nothings there.”

I’ve also had dreams of them as well. I don’t know what I believe but I do hope there is a heaven and my three babies are up there playing with each other again and my Opa and Oma are in bliss with all the family pets.

Maybe it’s my mind, maybe it’s all just hopeful wishing. But I like to believe they come visit us in our dreams and wherever we are.
They're there still taking care of you.
 

evilbunnyfoofoo

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Oh, I'm so sorry! There's nothing harder than saying goodbye to a beloved old friend. It is a sorrow I think all of us here know too well. One thing about us Pony Gals, we love deeply and strongly. I'm sad for you to have to make this decision, the hardest one a pet owner can make, but also the kindest. I have no doubt at all that Zephyr and your other beloved pets are waiting for you somewhere wonderful. Mine too. I have to believe there is something beyond this. They'll be well taken care of till you arrive, then what a lovely reunion you'll have!

And don't rush yourself grieving. I still find myself sobbing when I enter the empty pen, but Wednesday I was there and swear I heard Sparkle's whinny. She had a very distinctive voice. Maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe she came to visit. But I took great comfort in it. It's going to take a long time for me. Don't be afraid to take all the time you need. 15 years is a long relationship, something to miss, certainly but also to celebrate.
 

Skybreeze

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It’s been a few days now and it’s still so sad and heartbreaking. It’s strange being home and not seeing or hearing him. I haven’t slept well at all without the sounds of my snoring pug (who’d of thunk I’d get so used to that).

I think something that has taken me by surprise and has kind of hurt the most, is how many people’s lives he touched. Zephyr and I were always together, at work, the store, the park - wherever life took me Zephyr was there. I’ve had a lot of people reach out and share their memories of him with me. Some I remember fondly others I’d forgotten or didn’t know. One that made me giggle was when he and a doctor’s dog stole our practice owner’s sandwich from his bag in his office and shared it together. Or when he and my cat would team up and eat loaves of bread together. We shared many Summer beach dates with my bff and she would always buy him an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen. If anything, Zephyr was very much a pug and always thought first with his stomach. :rolleyespony:

Having Clover here has helped immensely but things still feel pretty empty right now. My friends have been trying to keep my mind off of it but little things remind me of him and I still find myself shedding a tear daily for him.

It will get better but it will certainly take me quite some time with this one. Zephyr was a special dog, cliche or not, he was. I wish the world could’ve known him and loved him as I do.
 

Tak

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It’s been a few days now and it’s still so sad and heartbreaking. It’s strange being home and not seeing or hearing him. I haven’t slept well at all without the sounds of my snoring pug (who’d of thunk I’d get so used to that).

I think something that has taken me by surprise and has kind of hurt the most, is how many people’s lives he touched. Zephyr and I were always together, at work, the store, the park - wherever life took me Zephyr was there. I’ve had a lot of people reach out and share their memories of him with me. Some I remember fondly others I’d forgotten or didn’t know. One that made me giggle was when he and a doctor’s dog stole our practice owner’s sandwich from his bag in his office and shared it together. Or when he and my cat would team up and eat loaves of bread together. We shared many Summer beach dates with my bff and she would always buy him an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen. If anything, Zephyr was very much a pug and always thought first with his stomach. :rolleyespony:

Having Clover here has helped immensely but things still feel pretty empty right now. My friends have been trying to keep my mind off of it but little things remind me of him and I still find myself shedding a tear daily for him.

It will get better but it will certainly take me quite some time with this one. Zephyr was a special dog, cliche or not, he was. I wish the world could’ve known him and loved him as I do.
My rescue cat, stinky (that was really his name), had a blood clot at only 3 years old. He could barely breathe and would never have regained use of his back legs. I had to let him go. He couldn't eat and needed stimulation to go when I got him, because his ma abandoned him. He would ride on my shoulder in the car and ended up being a 25lb Egyptian Mau. Absolutely beautiful. I still can't see a photo or think of him without crying. (Yes I'm full on sobbing now) It's ok to be sad and crying isn't weakness. It's just another expression of love for that special boy you wish you could hold. Day to day will get easier. Especially when you're hearing about him and it's still so new. You never want to forget, but for me to function at work after two days off, I had to focus on anything and everything except him. Once others around you have gone through their mourning him, it will give you a little space and you'll be able to remember the happy times easier. We're all here and you're always welcome to pm me anytime.
:xmashug:
 

Skybreeze

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My rescue cat, stinky (that was really his name), had a blood clot at only 3 years old. He could barely breathe and would never have regained use of his back legs. I had to let him go. He couldn't eat and needed stimulation to go when I got him, because his ma abandoned him. He would ride on my shoulder in the car and ended up being a 25lb Egyptian Mau. Absolutely beautiful. I still can't see a photo or think of him without crying. (Yes I'm full on sobbing now) It's ok to be sad and crying isn't weakness. It's just another expression of love for that special boy you wish you could hold. Day to day will get easier. Especially when you're hearing about him and it's still so new. You never want to forget, but for me to function at work after two days off, I had to focus on anything and everything except him. Once others around you have gone through their mourning him, it will give you a little space and you'll be able to remember the happy times easier. We're all here and you're always welcome to pm me anytime.
:xmashug:
Thanks Tak that means a lot. Thank you so much for your support and kind words.
 
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