What do you think of the Mega Renovations to the Manuscript?

RaphLuna

Bushwoolie
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Apr 26, 2017
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My cover to the first novel has gone through many updates. Holivi did a Beautiful Job with the Image

What do you think so far?

- Image. ( Blossom Flower surrounded by fire no characters coming soon )
-New Title. ( Blossom and the Wild Beast. )
-Tagline ( A mare's defiance. A carnivorous beast. Is the Risk Worth Taking? )

-Blurb

Blossom's excited as she comes of age, to step out into the world, and begin her own life. Yet, her heart's entangled with personal conflicts that keep nagging her back to stay.



Her frustration with her parents. Her father hints at marriage, while her mother struggles to let her only foal go. The unwanted attention from the townsfolk. All anticipating for her to attend the festivities, inspired by her birth. And three stubborn stallions. Who can’t take a hint, she is not interested in them.



As if things can’t get any worse for the young mare. A sudden twist of events finds

Blossom at the mercy of a ferocious beast. A terrorized terror that killed her species for generations.


Blossom is now at an impasse, one she must take to survive. Will this new dilemma in her life be a blessing or a curse?


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My professional Editor has been a Mega help. She has seen a plague of problems. The manuscript was in Tell mode and Desperttly needed show in it.

So I have done some Mega Upgrades.

Here is an Exclusive Sneak Peek. Granted this part has yet to be edited

____

9. Complications

Juliette froze as she startled in response. “WE… WE JUST TALKED!”.
“Oh, I see.” Tyrel snarled as he narrowed his eyes at her face and lifted his eyebrow in suspicion. “About what?''
“I .. I asked him many questions about Oakwood Grove.” Juliette stumbled, as the insides of her body shook with fear while her words rambled onward. “After all, Forest was born here. He knows a lot about the townsfolk and the history of the village.”
The stallion's mind wandered off in doubtful thought. ( As if that ******* would care anything about something like that. His kind only wants to mess around with young mares.) His eagle eyes narrowed up at her messy tangled mane. He caught a sudden glimpse of an odd color hair entangled in her red unruly hair. He reached out his hoof, gripped onto the stand and pulled it out.
Juliette's body shook in fear as she helplessly watched her father examine the strand.
Tyrel’s darted his sour face back at his daughter. “So, tell me, my daughter. How did that ******* hair get tangled in your mane? Did he make a pass at you? Try to seduce you out of your engagement.”
“It must have gotten in my mane when I struggled to get his injured body on my back.” Juliette swiftly answered as she continued. “Surly father you don’t expect me to just leave forest on the hill to die.”
Tyrel raised his eyebrow in suspicion, “Why didn’t you race to the doctor's home. He could have easily spared you the trouble that ******* caused you.”
“I… I wasn’t thinking straight.” Juliette stuttered as the flashback of the horrid fall leaped into her mind. “Forest was slipping in and out of a coma. I had to do something. What if he died by the time the doctor arrived.”
“And why would that matter to you.” The stallion gleamed as he thought of life much brighter without the ******* to fudge it up. “Besides you only shared lunch and a brief talk about the town's history.” Tyrel circled around his daughter as his soulless eyes scanned over her body. “Unless there is something else you shared. A kiss, perhaps.”
_____


I love writing this new way what do you think so far?
 
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