Rejection

Cactusflower

Pied Piper of Ponies
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Nobody likes to feel rejected. I was rejected for donating blood again today. I take it way harder than I should. I've been rejected now for five different reasons. It makes me feel like I have nothing to offer. Ugh.

Ok, I'm also feeling rejected by a boy. I guess he's a man. I've never dated before and I don't understand weird man behaviour. I've been seeing him for about six weeks (once a week), but I only ever hear from him when we have plans. He just doesn't communicate at all the rest of the time. I don't get it. When I'm with him, he acts interested, but the rest of the time he's just gone. I'm not at all needy or expecting constant text messages or calls, but nothing? That's just weird. I like him very much, and I don't think he is seeing anyone else, but I can't deal with wondering if he's actually interested. Is this a normal guy thing? My guy friends don't act like this. I've never dealt with this kind of behaviour before. Anyway, if you have insight to offer, I'd be happy to hear it.
 
Cant really help on the dating thing a lot as I don't but it seems to me if he wanted to grow a relationship he would want to talk more or something. Unless RLI are a thing with him at the moment. The only thing I could think of is to sit down and have a heart to heart with him to see where you stand with him.

Its not worth your time and energy and emotion to work on a bond with someone who seem that distance at least this is my take on things.
But again I asexual so relationship are not my department just offering friendly advice and all.
 
Cant really help on the dating thing a lot as I don't but it seems to me if he wanted to grow a relationship he would want to talk more or something. Unless RLI are a thing with him at the moment. The only thing I could think of is to sit down and have a heart to heart with him to see where you stand with him.

Its not worth your time and energy and emotion to work on a bond with someone who seem that distance at least this is my take on things.
But again I asexual so relationship are not my department just offering friendly advice and all.
 
Cant really help on the dating thing a lot as I don't but it seems to me if he wanted to grow a relationship he would want to talk more or something. Unless RLI are a thing with him at the moment. The only thing I could think of is to sit down and have a heart to heart with him to see where you stand with him.

Its not worth your time and energy and emotion to work on a bond with someone who seem that distance at least this is my take on things.
But again I asexual so relationship are not my department just offering friendly advice and all.
 
Yeah Cactus, your instincts are right. That guy is acting really weird. Most men once they start dating you will communicate in some way each day. If they aren't reaching out to you at least every other day, he's not that interested. He is probably leading you on so he can get something from you when he wants it. Dump him and move on is my advice. People who only contact you when they want something don't really care about you. They are using you to fill a void they have in their own life and you are there to fullfill a purpose. Sorry, but I'd move on.
 
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And Cactus, you have lots to offer. It just doesn't happen to be blood. There are lots of people who can't give blood. I also can't give blood either. My suggestion is to consider your talents and your virtues. Reminding yourself of what you are good at will help you to see that you do have something to offer! Do you sing, dance, are you a good listener? Are you a loyal friend? A compassionate person who is willing to help others with no thought of a return? Do you care about animals and show kindness to them? Those are all often overlooked jewels in your own crown. Consider what you do give, and if you feel you need to give more then perhaps consider donating some things to charity, or helping out at a church or offering to do some babysitting. There are all sorts of things you can do for others that will help you feel your worth again. A giving heart is a cherished one!

Best wishes!
 
Thanks ponies.

Well, I certainly was bummed most of the day, but I learned a whole lot of my friends can't be donors either. Canada is very strict with who is allowed to donate blood. The blood banks are always begging for donors, but a large number of people are turned away. My friend nearly died a few years ago and he had a bunch of transfusions. He will never be able to donate and I was trying to help repay his blood bill. Also, a friend recently had a stillborn baby and a bunch of us were donating in memory of her daughter.

As for the boy, I took him out last night for his birthday and was with him until the wee hours of the morning. He certainly kisses as if he likes me ;), but I did address my concerns and said I wasn't sure, because I didn't hear from him much when we aren't together. I think he got the message. He's a good looking dude and super fit and maybe I made some assumptions. He's so gentlemanly and doesn't push me and I guess I'm used to a much more aggressive approach. I learned he used to be quite shy and in his own world and suddenly his odd behaviour makes much more sense. I've since talked to him today, so I think this will improve. Actually, he gave me a really nice compliment that I've never heard before and although it made me super uncomfortable, it also perked my confidence a bit. He said he loves my body (which, he hasn't really seen, but still, I've never had anyone say that before). I'm ridiculously self conscious about the way I look. I exercise like a fiend and eat healthy, but these curves... sigh. Anyway, to have someone appear to not only accept the way I look, but like the way I look was a real treat.

Ladyaquitaine - man lady, you know how to give a pep talk . Thanks. I'm relentlessly hard on myself, but everything you say is true. I'm a very good person and that's something. Actually, I received some really exciting news the other day. I tried out for our local Search and Rescue team a couple years ago and they just contacted me and they are considering taking me on the team. I'm super excited about this opportunity. It's a huge commitment, but I love the mountains and I'm passionate about keeping people safe. I'm feeling much more positive this morning. Thanks, for the kind and inspiring words.
 
I dated a guy like that when I was younger and it turned out he was married. Cut him off faster than an electric eel on a fishing line.

Then a few years later I met another guy like that. He wanted to be in complete control over everything and didn't make much time for me, didn't contact me much unless it was convenient for him. Oh he was a real charmer but it was all a big lie. I realized what was going on. So, I left him and Married R2 instead. Total loser that guy was. Been married to R2 for 20 years. Best decision I ever made.

I can't donate either. Its not the worst thing in the world. There are plenty of ways to give to those in need.
 
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I hope things work out between you and your boy. Hopefully you'll be able to communicate more often, now. :)

Also, good luck with the Search & Rescue position! It'd be a risky but a very exciting, and probably very rewarding job! :) The mountains + forests are gorgeous, so you'll be lucky to work in them each day. :)
 
I hope things work out between you and your boy. Hopefully you'll be able to communicate more often, now. :)

Also, good luck with the Search & Rescue position! It'd be a risky but a very exciting, and probably very rewarding job! :) The mountains + forests are gorgeous, so you'll be lucky to work in them each day. :)

Thanks, Uftaki. It's a volunteer position with Coquitlam SAR. I also tried to get in with North Shore SAR. Both operations are entirely volunteer. I've assisted lost hikers numerous times on trails and I'd be so proud to work with this amazing group.
 
The guy sounds like a *cough cough* Not worth your time. As for donating, I can't either. My dad used to every year, but he's not allowed to now due to age. My cousin is a nurse and she donates every year. I really wish I could. It's one of the few things that really upset me when i found out. Especially since most of my family is too scared of needles to even contemplate it. I'm O neg, too. :confused:
 
@Cactusflower , I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time of it. Even if you can't donate blood, there are still a lot of other ways to make a difference, and it sounds like your volunteer work is very rewarding. :)

As far as your fella, my personal mantra is that anyone who likes you will show that he likes you, and not make you do all the mental arithmetic trying to figure out his intentions.
 
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