New G5 Blind Bag Review

evilbunnyfoofoo

My shoes are laced with irony
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Well, amazingly my podunk WalMart actually had three boxes of the new blind bags (or rather blind bottles). I'm not sure if we're calling these G5 for sure, but if this is what's in store, it's already disappointing. But before I start kvetching, let's see what we've got here...
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For $2.88 each, they better be cute, right? Let's see what we got in here... Oh good, instructions to help me free these tiny little plastic prisoners. Only 12 in the series. Artwork isn't inspiring, but I trundle forth!
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So you gotta dunk them in water to get your toy, even though you can clearly see through the little bag. But hey, I'm mentally four, I'm totally gonna dunk 'em. It's like magic right? I'll be a wizard, Harry!
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And... yuck. The four year old in me eats dirt but thinks this blue gunk is awful. It's hard to rinse off. I had to use a scrubber on two of them. I hope it's okay for my septic tank. Opps. There's no interesting display or foam, the bags just turn to sticky goo which sticks to the toy. Not impressive enough to wanna do more than once or twice. Honestly if you wanna avoid a gunky mess, just tear the bag open. It's better than the Cutie Mark Crew capsules fulla confetti, but the toys aren't as cute.
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So here they are. They're all unicorns. Even the animals.Why, I dunno. Someone in corporate thought it was cool. They're small. The paint jobs are iffy. Rarity and Lyra have horrific overbites. They're tiny like gumball machine toys and... ugly. *SOBS* Notice Angel bunny still has blue stuff in his ear. It may never come off. His eyes are closed in silent prayer, "Please, let this be a bad dream" Sorry bunny boy. This is the new reality.
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Look at them compared to a G4 blind bag and you'll see what I mean about size. For almost 3 bucks I think they could be larger and better sculpts. Plus the painting as I already pointed out isn't exactly anything to write home about.
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So there you have them. If this is a glimpse into G5, I'm terrified. I want to like them, I do. I want to support the franchise I love. But. There's that but. The designs are cheap looking. The toys are flimsy, small and fugly. I dunno. I guess I'll have to see the brushables in person, but this might be it for me. G5 and I might not be friends and they probably aren't going to be my prom date.
 
Also, please don't judge my sink, I just got new guinea pigs and there's hay all over the counter. Here, lookit my piggies. Aren't they cuter than G5s?

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You can can my pup Foxtrot peering in at them. The cage bottom is rusty, but it'll do for now. This is a mama and her babies. No names yet.

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This is the male. Also no name. I'm gonna have to get creative.

Look! I derailed my own thread! LOL
 
The goo suspiciously resembles the filler gel from disposable diapers. It was sticky-ish as well. Blah.
 
Foofoo you poor brave tortured soul! Don't do this to yourself. We luf you too much to have you face such unspeakable horrors! It could latch onto your eyeballs and drain your brain juices.

Your guinea piggies are cute furry taters and they were desperately needed.

I also came to the tp to complain about seeing one of these monstrosities in person.

You could name one Russet.
 
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Foofoo you poor brave tortured soul! Don't do this to yourself. We luf you too much to have you face such unspeakable horrors! It could latch onto your eyeballs and drain your brain juices.

Your guinea piggies are cute furry taters and they were desperately needed.

I also came to the tp to complain about seeing one of these monstrosities in person.

You could name one Russet.
I'm a sucker for punishment I guess. I just wanted to see how big they were mainly. Not big enough for almost 3 bucks. I'm used to getting toys from vending machines for 50 cents, frankly.

Sweet Mothers of Invention. Russet AND Tater are fantastic names! I think Tater's gonna be everyone's last name. Russet Tater must be the mama. I think papa is gonna be Baked Tater. I have to let Poopsie name the baby, but I guarantee she'll love the theme and go with it!

YAYS!
 
I'm a sucker for punishment I guess. I just wanted to see how big they were mainly. Not big enough for almost 3 bucks. I'm used to getting toys from vending machines for 50 cents, frankly.

Sweet Mothers of Invention. Russet AND Tater are fantastic names! I think Tater's gonna be everyone's last name. Russet Tater must be the mama. I think papa is gonna be Baked Tater. I have to let Poopsie name the baby, but I guarantee she'll love the theme and go with it!

YAYS!

Woohoo!
More guinea pig picccies please
 
Will do, I'm just letting them settle in then they're gotta do a lotta modeling!
 
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