I'm sad, you might want to skip this.

Tak

A long time ago…
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Dec 26, 2015
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My parents are my landlords. They only bought the house for us to live in because my daughter was their only grandchild and since I'm on ssdi. Our options are limited. I also don't do well living with others. Exception being my daughter as she is literally a piece of me. My parents assured me that I didn't need a car because they would always help me with any urgent or last minute appointments, grocery trips, etc. I'm very accident prone. The harder I try to avoid injury. The more likely I seem to be to get hurt. My daughter is only 8 and has ear issues that cause her balance to be a little off. She's also started puberty and gets bullied mercilessly. My parents refused to help me with her appointments, urgent and scheduled. My in home caregiver can't always be available since she needs to work another full-time job to make ends meet. So I got a chance to get a great deal on a car for urgent needs and took the opportunity. There's more history, but my torn rotator cuff makes using my arm difficult. Even for poking my kindle. My brain developed mixed up connections starting at a young age. I don't blame my birth family, but it also wasn't exactly something I had control over. After misunderstandings and a separation of about ten years. My parents were briefly back in my life. Then I got pregnant. They were gone again after only two visits with a 3 month old. They came back when my daughter was 2 since my likelihood of dying increased. My beloved grandfather died and they used my dad's inheritance to buy a house so their granddaughter could have a better life. Now they have a grandson from my perfect sister. He's perfect. Their family is perfect. My daughter is labeled a horrid selfish spoiled brat that they don't like being around. My daughter doesn't want to shop with grandma. She'd rather hike or play a board game. Sometimes grandpa is fun. I finally broke under the stress of finding rides, being told what a terrible person and parent I am, and many more personal stabs at my daughter and I. We're grateful to get to live here. All I hear about is how expensive it is. I didn't make the roof leak, the water heater bust, or the septic fail inspection. But apparently the cost is my fault. Mind you I spent most of my backlogged ssdi on three new decks fixing all the walls and the bathroom, and buying a fence. Not to mention the physical yard work, cleaning inside and the garage, scraping ceilings, buying a garage door, and new light fixtures. Now that I broke again the worst has happened and they are abandoning my daughter. They don't want her now that their perfect child gave them a grandson. Apparently my neural issues as a child and all the damage I caused during the separation makes me too hard to "be involved" with anymore and having a car is just going to magically make all my issues disappear so they needn't bother themselves with us anymore.
I'm sad. I only ever wanted to feel loved by them and I know it's something that I can't even hope for. I thought I could be okay if they could at least love my daughter, but they let her go. I'm selling as much furniture and most of our belongings, so we'll be ready to move if they kick us out so they can buy the beach house they want instead.
My daughter loves me and I love her. We'll get through anything together. Meanwhile, I'm just sad.
 
Awwww TAK! *HUGE PONY HUGS* I know what you mean. I also have my parents as my landlords and my brother is the "perfect" child and I'm the "problem" one in their eyes. It's going to be ok sweetie! You're FABULOUS!!!!! We all love you here on the TP! You have Pony friends!! :D
I totally understand you being so sad, but don't worry it is going to be ok. You have the most important person in the world - your daughter. She's who counts the most! A

Parents usually come around. They just get annoyed with us for still being dependent in some way. I had to start finding other ways to make money and be less reliant on them for them to back off on the "you're the problem" all the time.

I'm here for you if you need to vent! *HUGS*
 
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You are not a problem you are a good kind loving person who would do anything for your girl.
My sister is the perfect child with two kids so I feel you on that level.
I know it's hard but you seem like a fighter. We all love and care for you on here and are here for you.
Karma comes to all and I think your due for some good karma.
Huggles.
 
:xmashug:Super major big hugs to you both Tak. I know what its like having parents who don't think highly of you. My mother passed me off on other relatives often, she only raised me for about five years of my life. My dad is a bigger deadbeat who is only just now feeling bad about the fact that he decided not to be involved in my life.

Aint no such thing as perfect anywho! Plus WE like you just the way you are. Your a sweet, fun generous person and we can't wait till Mini-Tak can join us on the board.
 
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Round and round we go.
My mother has disconnected from me three times already. It's all my fault because my brain didn't grow correctly and they are all hurt by me. They're mad at me for feeling hurt because apparently I've no right to feel. I tell the truth and it just makes everything worse. I have a feeling my most recent batch of pony sales won't be my last. They'll all have to go if we become homeless.
Unbeknownst to me, when we moved into the house they bought, that gave them a right to dictate how, when, and where I spent any money from then on. So when I got a lump sum of ssdi back pay that I had less than six months to spend or I would lose health insurance for my daughter, I wasn't supposed to spend any of it on something that just made me happy. I put over half of it into the house, which I'm not really supposed to since I'm renting. Decks, walls, fences, flooring, and the garage door are technically a landlord's responsibility. I know they don't make money off of me, so I did it to help. Now they may raise rent to fair market value which is in excess of $1600 a month. We only get $1800 a month. So every time I buy an unnecessary item such as a candy bar it hurts them and they consider it a slap in the face that I would waste money. Mind, I'm also not allowed to save or they take it out of next year's income and I lose medical for both of us. Every time I try to give them more money, they hand it back. So confused, so sad, so terrified, so completely drowning.
 
If they are your payees, I'd suggest lobbying to become your own payee. Tell them that you feel they are no longer fit and that you've decided to move out on your own because living there is too stressful and that you feel they are jerking you around.
 
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If they are your payees, I'd suggest lobbying to become your own payee. Tell them that you feel they are no longer fit and that you've decided to move out on your own because living there is too stressful and that you feel they are jerking you around.

I'm my own payee. Fair market price for a really nasty two bedroom apartment is $1300 on the low end. We get $1800 per month. There isn't a single place here that we could move to unless we found a room to rent. I checked. :(
 
Your family has a lot of bad Karma coming there way. I hope things get better for you.
 
I'm my own payee. Fair market price for a really nasty two bedroom apartment is $1300 on the low end. We get $1800 per month. There isn't a single place here that we could move to unless we found a room to rent. I checked. :(


Well then, its none of their nevermind. As long as your paying for neccesities first and a small treat if feasible after, they've got no room to gripe.
 
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My psychologist said my mother sounds like she might be a narcissist.... :(
We'll just keep going, doing the best I can.
 
More sadness. My poor Wesley broke off a chunk of his molar and can't even eat. He's going to need to have it removed. :cry:
He's only two. My poor pup has been through so much. I know I'm already hyper emotional right now. I can't stand hurt to my family. My daughter and my dog.
 
I am so sorry about Wesley, but I can tell you that dogs do this sort of wackadoo thing all of the time. My Sophie cracked one of her front teeth in half and my Yuki is having trouble getting all his baby teeth to finally fall out. It is super hard knowing they are hurting. The vet gave Yuki some special medication that really helped with the tooth pain he was having and we gave him wet food for a while. Hang in there. Little dogs are strong and he needs to see you are not too concerned so he won't get all in a tizzy. Animals watch us and worry when we are worried. He won't think he is going to be okay so, let him know he is going to be okay. He will feel so much better once they take it out. The longer he has that tooth in there the longer he is going to be in pain. Super big hugs
 
The soonest they could schedule was for Christmas day, but they put us on the cancellation list and it gives me time to earn more. Meanwhile he'll be on antibiotics and painkillers until a week after they take it out. They said I could choose to leave it in a just manage his pain, but so much 'pulp' , the living tissue, is showing that he's 98% likely to develop an abscess and possibly lose the tooth next to it if we wait. He's so used to me being over anxious and down right freaked out that he's handling it very well. The pain meds regularly will help, too.
 
Oh. My. What. I tried the money pool option on Facebook to let my extended family and few friends know that we're in an ever tightening situation and every $5 could help. It gave me the option to share via email and I got to pick which addresses. Then I clicked on the option to share via Facebook messenger thinking I could just pick family and the few others. It sent the link to every person I've ever had contact with on messenger, ever. So embarrassing! I spent most of a day sending out apologies and I sure won't recommend or use the app again. *sigh* Three steps forward, two steps back. At least my Wesley isn't in pain. I can't really go anywhere since he's not legal to work on pain meds. Oh, yes, good news, finally getting an mri with contrast on my shoulder in two weeks. Seeing as how it's been useless since August 26th, it's a very good thing to be moving forward even though surgery is likely.
 
Oh, cracker jacks! I just had a thought. What am I going to do during recovery?! I won't be able to feed my kiddo. Oh, no, no, no not going to think about this now. :eek:
 
At your daughter's age I was doing my own laundry and making my own lunches. I think you and Evie could start now working on some simple things she can make for herself that do not involve the stove. It will really help her self esteem and, she will enjoy helping you. Also, what I would do is start making some things now that you can freeze or buying the Family meals from the grocery store. My mother kept a little cabinet shelf for me. It was filled with flip top canned fruit, peanut butter, crackers, flip top veggies, cookies, cheese spread, cereal, and a few other things like mac n cheese in a box. She did that because, there were many days she felt bad and never wanted me to be hungry. It was just the two of us. So, I am almost positive by the age of 4 I could make my own cheese sandwich with some fruit and carrots. A nice dinner to get a kid by on a difficult day. There is nothing wrong when you are going through a crisis to get some Spaghetti O's and green beans for your child. Then when you are better you can cook for her again. Super big hugs. @Tak
You may do this already. I wish you lived closer as I would help ya if I could.
 
At your daughter's age I was doing my own laundry and making my own lunches. I think you and Evie could start now working on some simple things she can make for herself that do not involve the stove. It will really help her self esteem and, she will enjoy helping you. Also, what I would do is start making some things now that you can freeze or buying the Family meals from the grocery store. My mother kept a little cabinet shelf for me. It was filled with flip top canned fruit, peanut butter, crackers, flip top veggies, cookies, cheese spread, cereal, and a few other things like mac n cheese in a box. She did that because, there were many days she felt bad and never wanted me to be hungry. It was just the two of us. So, I am almost positive by the age of 4 I could make my own cheese sandwich with some fruit and carrots. A nice dinner to get a kid by on a difficult day. There is nothing wrong when you are going through a crisis to get some Spaghetti O's and green beans for your child. Then when you are better you can cook for her again. Super big hugs. @Tak
You may do this already. I wish you lived closer as I would help ya if I could.

I didn't start her doing it until age six, but she can do simple meals. Pop top cans of soup, corn, beets, ravioli and fruit, as well as fresh fruits and veggies sliced meats and cheeses. She's a good kid.
 
That is super good @Tak . I would just try to not worry too much. I think everything is going to work out. It may be a challenge the first couple of days but then you guys will get into a new routine. My friend broke both of her hands and had to have surgery. She was also a carpool leader and somehow, I don't know how, she managed to get all those kids to school and home. It took a bit longer and it was hard on her. She had so much trouble sleeping because of pain. It was hard to watch but, she is that kind of person that has a determined spirit and just pushes through. Me, I would fluff up the pillows and go out of commission for a week or two. I also don't have children so that makes it easier for me to do that. I just don't like pain and it makes me want to hide away in a hole until its over.
 
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@Tak @tulagirl Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.
 
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