I think I think 2020 stinks

evilbunnyfoofoo

My shoes are laced with irony
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I've had some bad starts to the new year, but I think this year might be pushing the envelope of my ability to cope. My mom's brother, my Uncle Joe passed away. We had his memorial Saturday the 4th. His brother Tommy, was in hospice and given just a few days to live. On the 3rd, the night before we said goodbye to Joe, my niece (Joe's granddaughter) collapsed of unknown causes (though drugs are suspected) and went so long without oxygen she died on the 6th. On the 8th my Uncle Red (the last surviving sibling) called to tell us Tommy had passed away as well.

I still haven't even made peace with losing my aunt (mom's sister) Oochie. Of course, Oochie lived with us for over 15 years, so I'm going to grieve longer I guess, but I just can't come to terms with it. It was easier with mom. She'd been sick her whole life. It was only a matter of time and she lived way longer than anyone imagined she would. But Oochie seemed so vibrant, and she was such a positive beam of sunshine in my life. I just can't seem to make sense of it. I just can't get past losing her. I feel robbed and cheated.

So anyway, I know this is rambly, but I feel so bad for Uncle Red. He's the last one. I don't know if I could stand outliving my siblings. I've already lost two brothers as it is. I suppose it's just BAM! right in my face how fragile life is. So anyhoo. Bad start to the year. Maybe though these will be the only deaths for me for the whole year. They come in threes right?
 
I'm so sorry your family has already experienced so much loss in such a short period of this year. That is devastating. We love you and are here for you.

I've been discovering for myself just how different grief is as an adult, than as a kid. Lost grandparents as a kid, which I suppose you also expect to lose considering the age and generation... but as an adult to lose a parent. I literally will never be the same. And I think of him absolutely every day. I'm sorry for the pain you feel. I'm discovering, for myself, that the amount of pain seems connected to the strength of the lost relationship. Which doesn't make me not hurt, but also makes me happy, in some weird way.

Love you foofoo.
 
Poor Foofoo and Hank. I'm very sorry to hear that. :(:eek::xmashug::xmashug::xmashug:Lots of love to you guys. If you need an ear
 
So sorry foofoo, and Hank. :cry: Sending you thoughts and love. :xmashug:
 
Foofers! :xmashug:

I’m sorry to hear about the losses your poor family hashad to endure over the last little bit. No person should ever have to experience so much loss in such a short amount of time.

Sending you, Hank and your family pony hugs and support. As others have offered, I too am always around if you need someone to chat with. <3
 
I'm so sorry foofoo and Hank, that really is an awful start to the year. We really can't take anything for granted, things can change in a moment. The only thing you can do is try to remember the positives and give yourself time. Our hearts get heavy with grief and loss at these times but they will eventually get lighter, it will never go away but it will get easier. You have to try to focus on the good times and the good things you have cause it's easy to let the grief swallow you up and that won't do you any good. Just know all your pony peeps are sending you all the hugs and thinking about you <3
 
Man that's just insane. It seems beginning of the year is when it happens though.

I hope the best for you in grieving 3 at once, that must be heavy!
 
Whoa that is just...unbelievable, to have all that happen at once. I send you my best wishes. Let’s hope that’s the worst part of the year done and over with.
 
Thank you all. We're just sorta letting it all soak in. We knew my older uncles were not long for the world, but the lose them both so close together and poor Katherine on top of it all... it was just a shocker to us.

I really appreciate you all. I just had to vent. I was so gobsmacked. Maybe now I can get back to the business of living.
 
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