- Joined
- Jan 20, 2018
- Messages
- 880
I'm going to begin with a disclaimer that I don't really have many girlfriends, so I'm sharing with my pony gals.
I'm 42 years old and I've been single a long time. About 6 years now. I never really dated before. I've had 4 boyfriends, all of whom were friends first.
Anyway, men have never been priority in my life, but geez, it's been a long time. A pony has needs.
I'm not a fan of internet dating. I tried it a couple times with unpleasant results. I don't like clingy or pushy men and I seem to attract exactly that type. I decided to give it another shot and I connected with a guy about two months ago. We went out yesterday and I feel a bit like a deer in the headlights.
I generally receive attention from ridiculously younger men in their 20's because I look and act young. This guy is 38, which is perfect for me. He's very good looking, which is usually a turn off for me, because I feel like good looking men are used to the kind of girl that I am not. (Skinny, pretty, from a wealthy family, yadda, yadda). However, he's into hiking, running, camping, backpacking and ton of other things I do, so I was naturally drawn to him.
I don't have the greatest self esteem, so I was shocked that he even wanted to meet me. He's far better looking than I am and I'm painfully aware that he is super fit and although I'm also quite fit, I'm fat. Ok, not super fat, but I don't look like an athlete, even though I perform like one.
I was feeling super insecure to meet him, because I was convinced he would take one look at me and his first thought would be "She's fat. I don't want to be with a fat chick."
My first thought when I saw him was, "Yeah, this isn't going to work. Too good looking."
He was a bit odd at first. Not a lot of eye contact. Seemed serious and distant. Not the kind of guy I'm usually attracted to.
I was determined to make the best of it and be my excited self (a bit like Pinkie Pie, I tend to bounce along when excited). We went snowshoeing on the north shore. It was a bit tricky to get to know each other, as it was mostly single track on very loud crunchy snow, but slowly, he started talking more and I found we have many things in common. We like the same types of beer, grew up with the same 80's cartoons and seem to have similar values. He disclosed that he has only had a few girlfriends, which I was surprised by. By the time we finished our snowshoe, to my surprise, he had really grown on me. Maybe his initial aloofness was just that he is more reserved than me or maybe he was uncomfortable meeting someone new.
We went for a drink and the conversation kept getting better. We both lost our jobs in the last few months due to "reorganization". We are both going on EI and wanting to make career changes. During our drink, I was shaking like mad. At first I thought it was just an adrenaline reaction (happens sometimes when I'm excited), but then I realized it was a chill from sweating while snowshoeing. He grabbed my hand and he was like "You're freezing, let me get you my warm puffy coat from the jeep". I declined saying I was alright and I have an extra coat in my car, but he leaps off his seat and runs to the car for his coat. I guess chivalry isn't dead. It was a nice thing to do.
We finished our drinks and headed to our separate cars. He gave me a nice hug and said "We should do this again sometime". I said "Thank you, I'd like that." If I wasn't imagining things, I do believe we exchanged a look that seemed to indicate "Hey, you're alright."
I walked to my car noticing an odd fluttery feeling in my stomach.
Anyway, the moral of this long winded tale is never judge a book by it's cover. Sounds cliche, but there's something to it. My fear of being judged for my looks, led me judge a guy based on how he looked. He ended up being a decent and kind fellow who showed me nothing but respect.
FYI - I texted him later and thanked him for the lovely time and beer and said next time was on me. He replied saying he was looking forward to it. Even if nothing ever comes of it, I had a great experience and I'm far less concerned about giving good looking guys a chance.
I'm 42 years old and I've been single a long time. About 6 years now. I never really dated before. I've had 4 boyfriends, all of whom were friends first.
Anyway, men have never been priority in my life, but geez, it's been a long time. A pony has needs.
I'm not a fan of internet dating. I tried it a couple times with unpleasant results. I don't like clingy or pushy men and I seem to attract exactly that type. I decided to give it another shot and I connected with a guy about two months ago. We went out yesterday and I feel a bit like a deer in the headlights.
I generally receive attention from ridiculously younger men in their 20's because I look and act young. This guy is 38, which is perfect for me. He's very good looking, which is usually a turn off for me, because I feel like good looking men are used to the kind of girl that I am not. (Skinny, pretty, from a wealthy family, yadda, yadda). However, he's into hiking, running, camping, backpacking and ton of other things I do, so I was naturally drawn to him.
I don't have the greatest self esteem, so I was shocked that he even wanted to meet me. He's far better looking than I am and I'm painfully aware that he is super fit and although I'm also quite fit, I'm fat. Ok, not super fat, but I don't look like an athlete, even though I perform like one.
I was feeling super insecure to meet him, because I was convinced he would take one look at me and his first thought would be "She's fat. I don't want to be with a fat chick."
My first thought when I saw him was, "Yeah, this isn't going to work. Too good looking."
He was a bit odd at first. Not a lot of eye contact. Seemed serious and distant. Not the kind of guy I'm usually attracted to.
I was determined to make the best of it and be my excited self (a bit like Pinkie Pie, I tend to bounce along when excited). We went snowshoeing on the north shore. It was a bit tricky to get to know each other, as it was mostly single track on very loud crunchy snow, but slowly, he started talking more and I found we have many things in common. We like the same types of beer, grew up with the same 80's cartoons and seem to have similar values. He disclosed that he has only had a few girlfriends, which I was surprised by. By the time we finished our snowshoe, to my surprise, he had really grown on me. Maybe his initial aloofness was just that he is more reserved than me or maybe he was uncomfortable meeting someone new.
We went for a drink and the conversation kept getting better. We both lost our jobs in the last few months due to "reorganization". We are both going on EI and wanting to make career changes. During our drink, I was shaking like mad. At first I thought it was just an adrenaline reaction (happens sometimes when I'm excited), but then I realized it was a chill from sweating while snowshoeing. He grabbed my hand and he was like "You're freezing, let me get you my warm puffy coat from the jeep". I declined saying I was alright and I have an extra coat in my car, but he leaps off his seat and runs to the car for his coat. I guess chivalry isn't dead. It was a nice thing to do.
We finished our drinks and headed to our separate cars. He gave me a nice hug and said "We should do this again sometime". I said "Thank you, I'd like that." If I wasn't imagining things, I do believe we exchanged a look that seemed to indicate "Hey, you're alright."
I walked to my car noticing an odd fluttery feeling in my stomach.
Anyway, the moral of this long winded tale is never judge a book by it's cover. Sounds cliche, but there's something to it. My fear of being judged for my looks, led me judge a guy based on how he looked. He ended up being a decent and kind fellow who showed me nothing but respect.
FYI - I texted him later and thanked him for the lovely time and beer and said next time was on me. He replied saying he was looking forward to it. Even if nothing ever comes of it, I had a great experience and I'm far less concerned about giving good looking guys a chance.