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Oooh, ouch. That didn't sound like fun at all. :( Glad you found him, but hope you had a nice, hot bath or something to relax by after.

[blush] D'awww... <3 It was great meeting up with you again! You're lovely, too. ^.^ Always fun to see you. :D I'm going to have to get a photo of Dandelion next to Gypsy, and post it up here at some point. ^__^
 
Psssst @Cactusflower when are you in Toronto? Lol I need to put it in my calendar so I don’t forget.
 
I wish we all lived closer so we could get together. I went to a Pony meet last year and had a terrific time. Made one friend I talk to often, and that was worth everything to me. I cherish you guys, because living out like I do, I just don't meet anyone with my interests often.

CactusFlower, I'm sorry you aren't getting the support from your team. Sometimes people are just shortsighted and don't realize how offputting they're acting. Hopefully things will clear up and they'll see what horse's butts they're being. They're lucky you volunteered at all, seeing as it's a lot of work on your part if you get the position.
 
I think I’m going to be off the team.

Something strange is going on. They want to talk to me and it’s something negative. ‘Issues’

I will say this, I’ve never felt more devastated, humiliated and terrible as I do right now. I don’t understand how someone who tries as hard as I do to be a good person, to do the right thing to be supportive and team oriented keeps ending up with people treating me like I’m worthless and that I’m doing something wrong. I can’t even function right now and I just want to give up on everything. I know I shouldn’t even say these things online, but I don’t care and can’t see how anything could get worse.

And then there’s this immense guilt I have over my own misery. I know I should feel grateful for many things and my life could be worse. I could be dying or living in a country at war or have chronic illness. But, having nothing meaningful in your life, having disastrous relationships or no connection to people at all feels pretty darn bleak.
 
:xmashug:
 
I think I’m going to be off the team.

Something strange is going on. They want to talk to me and it’s something negative. ‘Issues’

I will say this, I’ve never felt more devastated, humiliated and terrible as I do right now. I don’t understand how someone who tries as hard as I do to be a good person, to do the right thing to be supportive and team oriented keeps ending up with people treating me like I’m worthless and that I’m doing something wrong. I can’t even function right now and I just want to give up on everything. I know I shouldn’t even say these things online, but I don’t care and can’t see how anything could get worse.

And then there’s this immense guilt I have over my own misery. I know I should feel grateful for many things and my life could be worse. I could be dying or living in a country at war or have chronic illness. But, having nothing meaningful in your life, having disastrous relationships or no connection to people at all feels pretty darn bleak.

Sounds like they've got some super exclusive clique thing going on. Obviously they don't value hard workers outside of their own little group. I'd tried to get assigned to another team if you could. Let's see how well they fare without you. I hate when people get tribal and leave others out. It's stinkin' rude.

Don't give up. You aren't wrong in this situation, THEY are.

And don't feel bad for having a good life. While it's true that sheer random luck put most of us where we are, we can't exchange lots with others so they can be happy, so we might as well enjoy what we have. There's nothing wrong with being grateful, but don't feel bad. You worked hard to be where you are, you embrace it and revel in it. You deserve to be happy. You are completely worthy of any rewards life gives you
 
What happened tonight was quite possibly the most messed thing that has ever happened to me. I was pulled in for a talk about the "issues" and I was completely blindsided. It was the most ridiculous and offensive conversation of my entire life and I've had some crazy stuff go down in my time. There were some gross exaggerations of situations and the greatest offense was the complete lies of things that flat out never happened. Apparently, a number of team members have expressed concerns about my behaviour, citing such complaints as I'm insubordinate, unsafe, lazy, unprofessional etc. Pony friends, I assure you 100% I am none of those things. They said a number of members had said I was inappropriate and unprofessional, but when I asked for an example, they could give me nothing. I stood my ground and called them out on a lot of this stuff and asked if I had been transported back to high school. I don't expect adults to behave in this manner. I can't even believe this has happened from an organization whose values include integrity, compassion and teamwork. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, because I have seen a number of the members behaving terribly, insulting people with mental health issues and dementia, calling other team members names. It's pretty juvenile stuff. And my conduct was called into question. Really? One of the members even went so far as to say they would quit if I was made a full member. I'm completely devastated. This will mean I'll be blacklisted from any Search and Rescue in the province. These crazy people have destroyed something I wanted and waited a long time for. I don't think I will bounce back from this. I have nothing left in my life.
 
That is terrible what those people are saying and doing... you don't deserve that sort of treatment. :(

You have so much left, though! Don't ever give up... This may have been a dream job of yours, and it is PAINFUL that this has happened... I'm not going to deny that. But there are still so many other opportunities and possibilities out there! Maybe it's something you never considered, maybe it's something you don't expect, an area of work you never thought of to look in, but never give up hope! You may have to struggle along with jobs you don't like, just to make ends meet for the time being... But keep looking! Keep trying! Keep your hopes up! Something will eventually come!
 
I agree with @Uftaki. You can’t let terrible people and their actions keep you down. You are allowed to feel hurt and betrayed but don’t let them win by giving up on yourself and selling yourself short.

You are a strong beautiful person who deserves the world. Try something different or new. Who knows what’s out there waiting for you to find it.

Look at me, I’ve been in the veterinary field for 15+ years and now I’m in travel. Honestly, it’s been a huge and (somewhat) difficult change but I am so happy I did it. I’m happy (although exhausted) to be going into my work place now. I’m surrounded by positivitie, supportive and happy people in my new work place. I never thought in my life I would find a job like this but I am so happy I have and I’m super excited for the opportunities that can arise from this big change.

If you decide you ever want to move back, I’m sure I can get you an interview at the very least. ;)
 
Thank you, ladies. It's nice to have someone in my corner. I've never been this low before and it's freaking me out. I've been near comatose lately with depression and I need to get out of it. I never needed a pep squad before, but I'm glad I have one now. I'm hoping my visit with my family will set me back on track.
 
Thank you, ladies. It's nice to have someone in my corner. I've never been this low before and it's freaking me out. I've been near comatose lately with depression and I need to get out of it. I never needed a pep squad before, but I'm glad I have one now. I'm hoping my visit with my family will set me back on track.

We may not be close by, but we've got your back. :xmashug:
 
The people who were supposed to have my back left their knives in it. :eek:

It’s nice to know there are decent folk somewhere in the world. I do appreciate y’all.

I was thinking about what Skybreeze and Uftaki said about the work situation. I think maybe the reason I haven’t been called for any of the jobs I’m qualified to do is because the universe is sending me a message to try something else. Trying to see some positive in this mess.
 
Is there any way to protest these accusations and request an inquiry, Cactusflower? People shouldn't be allowed to make baseless statements without proof, it's slanderous. That being said, I just think your team is compromised of entitled people that believe their seniority gives them 'right' to whatever they want and you being new and capable threaten that. Many times a group will try to cast out someone who is more proficient than they are, just because that person makes them look bad in comparison, that's what I think is happening to you. It's wrong, and it makes me angry.

But I think the others could be right, perhaps it's a good opportunity to look at alternatives, and see what else might be of interest to you. You're smart and resourceful, I think you'd be up for any challenge.
 
When one door closes, another always opens. Perhaps it is time to try looking at something new! A good way to start off the new year. ;3

And you have lots of positives to focus on, too. You're going to see your family, and you can bring the rest of your ponies home with you, you've got your First Nation status now, you've had some sweet pony luck lately, you'll be getting a cool gift in the mail from your pony swap partner for Christmas... Lots of happy things! :3
 
Is there any way to protest these accusations and request an inquiry, Cactusflower? People shouldn't be allowed to make baseless statements without proof, it's slanderous. That being said, I just think your team is compromised of entitled people that believe their seniority gives them 'right' to whatever they want and you being new and capable threaten that. Many times a group will try to cast out someone who is more proficient than they are, just because that person makes them look bad in comparison, that's what I think is happening to you. It's wrong, and it makes me angry.

But I think the others could be right, perhaps it's a good opportunity to look at alternatives, and see what else might be of interest to you. You're smart and resourceful, I think you'd be up for any challenge.

This whole thing was kinda crazy. There’s no one I can really protest to, but a glimmer of light in this situation was that another team member was there taking notes and she’s solid. She already messaged me and asked if I wanted to talk. I think I’ll take her up in it. I want to know how many people are involved. I suspect it began with four people who I could name and it’s stemming from that mental health incident where we left that poor guy behind. They all started hating me because I called them out on their compassionless behaviour.

I’m pretty sure there are more than a few people on the team who have no idea what’s happening. Makes me think the gossip crap is only circulating among certain groups.

I’m gonna try not to think about this for awhile. I just spent my entire red eye flight to Toronto ruminating over this. I gotta get some sleep.

Hey, I have at least one thing to look forward to. I’ll soon see Skybreeze :)

Thanks gang.
 
Dear Cactus...it is horrible what they did to you!!!!!
How unprofessional and so unfair!!!
I have really no words for it....
Take care! X
 
This whole thing was kinda crazy. There’s no one I can really protest to, but a glimmer of light in this situation was that another team member was there taking notes and she’s solid. She already messaged me and asked if I wanted to talk. I think I’ll take her up in it. I want to know how many people are involved. I suspect it began with four people who I could name and it’s stemming from that mental health incident where we left that poor guy behind. They all started hating me because I called them out on their compassionless behaviour.

I’m pretty sure there are more than a few people on the team who have no idea what’s happening. Makes me think the gossip crap is only circulating among certain groups.

I’m gonna try not to think about this for awhile. I just spent my entire red eye flight to Toronto ruminating over this. I gotta get some sleep.

Hey, I have at least one thing to look forward to. I’ll soon see Skybreeze :)

Thanks gang.

I literally can’t wait!! Only thing is I now have bronchitis and have Monday off and will hopefully be feeling much better so we can go for coffee or something and talk life and ponies. Lol!
 
I’ve had another devastating blow. My best friend’s mother died last night. His family has taken me in and I’m very close to them. She was in the hospital this last week and they were running tests and then she just took a bad turn and died last night. How can this happen when I’m stuck in Toronto? I’m all he has. He literally has no other friends. I feel guilty. Worse than that, I’m angry. The night I was listening to my character assassination, I had wanted to go see her in the hospital. I’m feeling super hostile towards my “team”. I guess I just have a lot of anger and feelings and no place to put them.

I feel like I need to just get on a plane back to Vancouver. I’m also concerned because my female best friend is here and her mother is also quite ill. Again, her mother is a woman I feel very close to and she may have cancer.

I feel overwhelmed and just sick over everything.

I’m fighting with my instinct to just jump on a plane to Vancouver. Either way, I’ll probably have to go back sooner. I can’t miss the funeral.

Skybreeze, I’m sorry to hear you are unwell. It seems everyone is sick. I hope I will still get to see you. Either way, I’ll ensure you get the ponies.
 
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